ADAM DISCUSSES BIKES AND FOOD WITH JOE MOUNTAIN-BIKER

Hi Joe, could we get your opinion on the theme of ‘eat, drink, ride’ for the next volume of Journey?
How do you relate food to cycling?
“You mean mountain biking.”

Yes, that’s right. Do you have any food preferences for out on the trails?
“Nope.”

Surely you eat something – a sandwich maybe?
“I rode Single-track Sandwich in Queenstown once.”

That’s nice, but what about edible sandwiches. Is there a favourite filling – jam, cheese, ham?
“Oh yeah, Hammys track runs through it, I think.”

OK. Moving on. Is there any kind of food that you like?
“Dunno, can you be more specific?”

How about Asian food?
“Hell yeah! Chop Suey in Rotorua is always on my menu. There’s great food in the forest there.”

That is interesting. What food is in there?
“Turkish Delight, Sweet and Sour, Spring Roll.”

Wow, that sounds like a full menu.
“Yep – there’s Hot X Buns too.”

Delicious! I didn’t realize mountain bikers ate them.
“We ride it.”

Oh, [pause] I think I get it.
“Ding!”

Let’s try something different. What about spices, or herbs you like to use?
“Mint.”

Mint?
“Boi yeah! The Mint trail in Hawkes Bay is helping that place big time.”

You clearly are obsessed with riding, and good for you.
Now, lets see if we get any joy from food preparation. Any favourite cooking methods?
“I poach the odd walking track now and then.”

Ahem. We won’t go there. Any favourite utensils?
“I don’t like Eggbeaters.”

Why not?
“They fall apart.”

Right. Do you have anything more to offer on he subject of food and cycling—sorry, mountain biking?
“Nope.”

Goodness, I’m really having to spoon feed you here.
“Now that’s a track—Spoonhill in Wainuiomata.”

Of course, Joe doesn't really exist.

We are running short on time now. Final question. After a good post-ride meal, do you finish with dessert?
“More sweet single-track.”

Of course. I should have seen that coming.
But do mountain bikers like to eat any particular kinds of sweet foods?
“The kids do—Lollypop Loop in Rawhiti Forest, Whakatane.”

Hmmm. I suppose you could say it is a form of food. But hang on, wouldn’t mountain bikers like muesli bars?
“Most like riser bars.”

Sounds delicious!
“Yep. Nicer than drop bars.”

Insightful. Thanks for your wisdom Joe. I think we’ll call it a day there. How about a beer?
“OK, but it will need to be near Makara Peak, because that will make me want to ride SWIGG.”

Goodness. You clearly operate at a deeper level Joe. Thanks for reminding us that gastronomic pursuits should never overshadow the passion for riding.
“Burp.”

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